MOTH Ratings Crowdsourcing: Sad Moth Music NEEDS YOUR HELP!

Recently, Sad Moth Music Editor In Chief Emanuel "Sad Moth Manny" Aviles asked me to meet him in his luxurious corporate office for a work evaluation.  He was not happy.

""Sad Moth" Noah," he said, adjusting one of the five rings on his left hand, "you're just not cutting it.  The site is losing its edge.  Sad Moth Music is supposed to be about a dedication to reviewing albums -- new and old -- in a dynamic way."

"I think I've been doing alright," I replied, "I've been writing more than anyone else."

"Irrelavent!" he roared.  He removed his fat stogie from his lips and jabbed it at me while he talked.  "You're all washed up Stafford.  I just got off a conference call with the Sad Moth Mutimedia CFO, and our projected quarterly numbers are through the floor.  No one is reading the damn blog.  I don't care if you write five-thousand words a day if we're not getting the clicks.  You're writing the articles, but they just aren't connecting with people.  And you want to know why?  You're not dynamic enough.  It says it right there in our mission statement.  I need more dynamism from you Stafford, because right now, you've got about as much edge as a plate of chopped liver!"  He reclined and took a long draw from his cigar, blowing the smoke into my face, fully aware of my severe asthma.

"I'll try and do better sir."

"Better?!?" he screamed, simultaneously standing and pounding his fists onto his solid maple desk.  "I don't want "better", I want a readership! I want content consumption!  I want greater uniques!  I want double our current time-on-page rate!  I want an expanded marketshare! I WANT DYNAMIC REVIEWS OF ALBUMS -- NEW AND OLD!"  He sat back down, his face red from screaming, a dangerously large vein pulsing in his neck.

"Yes sir," I replied, discreetly wiping his spittle out of my right eye.

"You'll have twenty ideas about how to make Sad Moth more dynamic on my desk by tomorrow."

"Ok."

"Not get the hell out of my office."

So here we are, and I'm still at a loss for good ideas.  So I'm putting out a call to loyal Sad Moth readership to help me out.  Currently, my best idea is about 85% formulated, but I need some added ideas to really flesh it out.

My idea is the MOTH Score -- a new and unique (and dynamic) way for Sad Moth writers to evaluate albums.  It consists of a list of the tracks in an album, and an evaluation of each track based on different yes/no type categories, which are then averaged to create one MOTH score.  An example:

So right now I only have four categories: "Bangerz Factor" (wud u bang this shit out ur trunk?), "Bone-ability", (wud u toats bone ur gf to this song?), "Dankess", (wud u get 420 turnt 2 dis track?), and "Feels Index", (do u get doze feels when u listen to dis?).   So looking at the spreadsheet above, "With You Without You" is dank, as well as bone-able, but isn't a banger, nor does it give me the feels.  These are the important opinions.

What I'm looking for is more categories, but I can't think of any.  So I'm looking for suggestions.  Very good suggestions are preferable to shitty ones, but I'll take what I can get.  Leave your suggestions in the comments on this page, or in the facebook comments for this post.  Please.  Bossman "Sad Moth" Manny's really on my ass about this one.