9/19/16

The Great Music Canons of the Internet

The internet is full of publications, communities, and individual people who think they know where the good shit is at.  Many of you may roll your eyes at the very sight of the words "___hundred Greatest Albums of All Time".  But, regardless of how futile the exercise of ranking the 'best music' is, it's being done and it will continue to be done, and what a website ranks as good music tends to be incredibly revealing about its tastes.  Certain websites have come to represent distinct canons in music, with clearly defined features, strengths, faults, arguments and counter arguments.  I find it interesting how these places differ, and how they are similar.  After examining these websites, I've learned a lot about how different types of music are regarded on the internet.  I hope you find it interesting as well.  Nine websites are discussed below: three publications, three communities, and three created by individuals.

9/8/16

Sad Moth Concert Tour Part. 9 by SHIG: Don Henley at the Minnesota State Fair

The thoughtful author ponders the cryptic
lyrics to "Boys of Summer" while sporting
a "Squirrel: The Other
White Meat" t-shirt

Editor's Note: This review was dictated by SHIG to his inferior brother Sad Moth Noah.

As Noah and I were tripping down our merrily way at the Minnesota State Fair, we happened to come across some tickets lying on the ground.  You couldn’t really read the writing on there, but I guess they said, “Fon Henvley” or something like that.  We also noted that the date was, in fact, that night.  So Noah and I went through the State Fair grandstand buying everything we could and then Noah had to stop for a urinal break.  And then we finally went to the concert.  Unfortunately, we also had to bring mom with us, which made the whole thing a lot more nostalgic than it should have been.  So we sat for a couple minutes listening to a guy singing so high it sounded like he just got kicked in the balls.  Honestly, there weren’t many complaints, except for the audience members being comprised mainly of old men, and the back up singers being from Twilight.  It was then during his uhh....... “Motel Colorado” song that I realized the truth.  
The current trends are SHIT!!!!!  In music today we are listening to some little “Justiene Bieber” hitting “high” notes when there is a man at least triple his age singing exactly as high as he can.  Not only that, but today songs are all the same.  Love, dumping, sex, drinking, etc.  But Fon Harvley’s songs actually mean something.  Like a drug addiction, or most importantly, recovering from a traumatic experience (but not like love).  Adele couldn’t even say “Hello” from the other side of the stadium compared to this guy.  
STEP. UP. YOUR. GAME. Modern artists, because even this grandpa can sing better than you!