Weezer: The Last Weez?

So Weezer came out with a new album, and I was kinda excited.  It's the follow up to 2014's Everything Will Be Alright In the End, an album that I really liked, and a listening experience that was made even more satisfying by the fact that it was the first listenable album the band had put out in more than a decade.  The album even addressed the awfulness that had come before it -- Rivers Cuomo actually apologizes for making shitty music in the lyrics of "Back to the Shack", which is a classic super lame, borderline cringey Rivers move.  But, as opposed to the incredible amount of crap that came before it, EWBAITE has good songs on it.  And it was consistent, something the Weez can't claimed to have pulled off since Pinkerton, probably.

So now we have the White Album.  Will Weezer run out of colors?  I hope not.  Count me in for the Mauve Album.

The White Album is alright, but it's complacent alrightness is exactly what annoys me.  I really hoped that Everything Will Be Alright In the End was a real turning point for a new phase of Weezer's career.  That album seemed to signal a new era of Weezer records, with quality that didn't reach the Blue/Pinkerton era but definitely beat out the Green/Maladroit tier of things.  But now I'm really not sure.  This is.... decent.  After a couple listens, it's grown on me a bit.  I like the first track the best, California Kids, as well as (Girl We Got A) Good Thing.  But the latter song is indicative of the larger problem here.  The song has this good palm muted chug going on, some decent arpeggios, some feedback-y hooks, but it's all buffed clean and mixed into the background by the production.

Weezer was always very poppy, but the way they're presenting their music now, they're pop-first and rock second.  It's annoying.  There's a bunch of light pianos on here too.  I don't need pianos.  One of the coolest things about Weezer is the chugging, heavy, surprisingly aggressive guitars with this strange, awkward dude singing over the top.  This album really limits that, or at least really smooths the rougher edges.  With the direction they took with the production and arrangements, I think Weezer is playing away from their strengths.  But I guess that's really a stupid criticism.  Weezer, somehow, has survived as one of the most prominent mainstream rock bands around, so it's not like they're gonna be recording on a 4-track.

The lyrics here are also weaker than Everything, and occasionally Rivers Cuomo goes back to the well of facepalming, stupid, cringey stanzas that he has visited all too often in the last decade.  I.e. on "King of the World".

Dad hit you on the hand

Just for holding your chopsticks wrong

Then your Mom locked you in a shed

And Uncle Sam dropped an atom bomb

I guess this really doesn't happen too often, but often enough to matter.  Most of the lyrics are fine, and are all California-centric, which is is neat.  It's why some jabronies are calling this a concept album, but that's freaking stupid.  Yeah, the lyrics are fine. But that's all they are.  Rivers Cuomo has shown the capability to be really clever or illicit complex emotions, and that's not really here.

Of course, I've failed to mention "Thank God for Girls" up until this point, and I'd like to point out that everything that I've said so far applies to the nine other tracks on this album.  "Thank God for Girls" gets its own paragraph.

This song is fucking horrible.  Rivers Cuomo still thinks rap-rock is OK in 2016, and either he completely missed the music of the early 2000s, likes Sum-41, or is a hyper-ironic meme lord.  The atrocity of this song is only to be rivaled by it's "lyric video", which features a horrendously long-haired and mustachioed Rivers smashing cannolies into his face.  The song's instrumentation is pretty bland, with that stupid piano bopping along to the beat for most of it.  The lyrics themselves are really where the action is.   And guess what?  They're conveniently annotated and verified by Rivers himself on Genius!  Let's take a look-see.

The truth is that I’m just as scared I don’t know how to act

I wish that I could get to know her better

But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter

Rivers' Annotation: "That's what happens with Tinder!"

Deep shit man.  Luckily you're married with kids, so you have a great perspective on the emotional intricacies of Tinder.

God took a rib from Adam, ground it up in a centrifuge machine

Mixed it with cardamom and cloves, microwaved it on the popcorn setting

While Adam was like “that really hurts”

Rivers' Annotation: "*picture of a microwave with a popcorn setting*"

That's not the part I was confused about.

I’m like an Indian Fakir tryna’ meditate on a bed of nails with my pants pulled down

Rivers' Annotation: "*picture of Indian Fakir meditating on bed of nails*"

Dude, what the fuck is this line.  Don't just post a pic and move on like everything is normal.

She’s so big

She’s so strong

She’s so energetic in her sweaty overalls

Rivers' Annotation: "I’m so jealous of the hooker-uppers

Seems like it’s so easy to get laid now

all these good looking atheletic young guys

r getting so much free sex

it kills me

laxitutes.

Such a bummer. Such a bummer.

To be evaluated by women. To be graded. To be rated.

Where do I stand? How big? How strong? How enduring? How energetic? How inventive?

So sad that it comes to this. So sad.

It IS a competition and I AM being compared"

Woah.  A lot to parse here.  First of all, terrible, terrible line.  Second of all, is this annotation supposed to be a poem?  And what the fuck?  You are 45 and married with two children.  And you're jealous of how "athletic young guys r getting so much free sex"?

Of course, Rivers Cuomo acting like he has the problems of a 14 year old has been an issue for a while now.  Anyone who made it through the first eight tracks on Raditude to get to "The Mall" knows that all too well.  And this album is no exception.  These are fourty-something white dudes playing songs about getting high and "LA Girlz" and other such things.  It's kinda weird and it'll only get weirder, given how time tends to go in one direction.

Yet, in the end, this album is good.  It proved that Everything Will Be Alright In the End wasn't a fluke, and that Weezer plans on actually making decent music in the foreseeable future.  This album has real consistency, as in I want to listen to more than three songs on it, which can't be said for really any other album after Pinkerton and before Everything Will Be Alright.  But they do seem to be leaning towards a watered-down sound, and goddamn, "Thank God for Girls" is just so bad.  A lot of the problems with Weezer are still present, and they seem intent on sticking with their formula, but the fact remains that they're just doing it better now.  If I'm ranking Weezer albums, I'd put it in the vicinity of Green Album and Maladroit, and well above the mid-2000's string of garbage.  And anything that prevents another "Hurley" or "Death of False Metal" from being unleashed on the world is alright in my book.

6/10  

Jazmine Brown's Review: Weezer -- White Album

Review

By: Patrick Dillon


Artist: Weezer
Album: Weezer (White Album)


Like so many other people Weezer’s music deeply effected me during probably the worst series of years in a persons’s existence: middle school.  Records like Blue Album and Pinkerton with their lyrical sharpness and angst melded beautifully with their sense of humor and pop rock sensibilities, they really helped to define that point in my life (I know all the words to both…).  Although Weezer and I started to go our separate ways, particularly their mid-late 00’s output, I never really stopped listening.  Weezer brilliantly touched on the alienation, anger, and general malaise of these years, in an unpretentious and honest light that so few can truly emulate.  Rivers and Co. are in their forties now (far from youthful) and although they may be far past their best, their latest record proves that their creative moments are anything but fleeting (despite what Raditude may have you believe!)
While this may not be a ‘concept’ record pre se, it does try to emulate the sound and feeling of those magical California summers.  This is, after all, a beach record, and you can hear a certain group of Boys (who may or may not play songs about the beach)  influence all over this record.  Not least of all the closing track appropriately styled after the seminal Beach boys compilation Endless Summer) complete with the sunny harmonies and love lorn lyrics you’d expect.  In fact if you’re at all familiar with Weezer you probably know exactly what to expect here, catchy pop rock gems with explosive choruses, “clever” sometimes funny lyricism, and the best goddamn bridges in the business (at least on this record but more on that later).  All of these tracks rest snugly in that 2:45-3:30 comfort zone, sans the closer, with very few curveballs thrown at the general sound Weezer is known for.  For some that may be seen as a weakness but I argue that Weezer hasn't sounded this musically put together in a long time.  Even 2014’s surprisingly solid Everything Will Be Alright In The End, lacked the punch and fine details that i believe make this record their most compelling since Maladroit.
The record opens with “California Kids”, as anthemic a song as Cuomo has ever written, complete with soaring guitars and a typically killer refrain. Appropriately kicking off with the sounds of an ocean, complete with seagulls flying lazily in the breeze, it evokes the kind of idyllic exaggerated caricature of California the lyrics themselves paint throughout the song. Of course real California kids won't actually throw you a lifeline in any way shape or form, but this idealized image of the California dream fits snuggly in the concept and sound of this record.  “Wind in our Sails” continues the redemptive spirit of the opener with the one of the more clever hooks on the record.  I love the plinking piano throughout, and lyrically in continues Cuomo’s more recent streak of cleverly hip historical references and characters, perfectly utilized on the first excellent bridge on this record.  Really almost every track here features an excellently crafted pop formula, these bridges not only sound great, they lyrically tie these tracks together.  My favorite is probably on “Summer Elaine and Drunk Dory”, where after mentioning that god was a girl earlier in the track he pines: “Remember when we were only sixteen, you made me believe in God, but when I finally wake, both girls are gone”.
Lyrically this may be one of my favorite Weezer records, it’s jam packed with clever character allusions, hip biblical references, and genuinely excellent pop song craft.  Some of these tracks are actually some of the darkest Weezer’s sounded since Pinkerton like on the track “Do You Wanna Get High”.  Lyrically Cuomo recalls memories of his past relationship with not only his girlfriend (also mentioned on Green Album’s “O Girlfriend”) but their pill addiction.  Sonically it could be a Pinkerton outtake with blissfully distorted guitar and a killer drumbeat.  I love the descending chorus harmonies and Cuomo’s impassioned falsetto on the bridge.  “Thank God For Girls” is another lyrical standout, it confronts Cuomo’s hangups about the typified version of masculinity and the struggle to retain that facade, it also throws in a great deal of biblical imagery and characters with a healthy spoonful of absurdity and surrealism.  The piano returns from the previous track “Wind in our Sails” though it sounds much more dramatic and emotive here it perfectly compliments River’s rap like delivery (Not new for a Weezer track) with the fuzz of Brain Bell’s guitar.  There’s even a line here that dates back to 1997: “I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though she isn't mine, I think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's alive”.
Sandwiched between the two darker songs of the album lies what may be one of the prettiest.  “Girl We Got A Good Thing” is the breeziest track here, the tambourine is lovely (and I love how they even make reference to tambourines and jingling in the lyrics, its the little things for me man) the 70’s California soft rock guitar sounds great with a little extra fuzz, and the returning piano comes in really nicely.  This may be the finest realization of the Weezer sound in a “Beach Record”, it’s upbeat, sunny, and (again) lyrically clever.  “King Of The World” is similarly lovely but not for all the same reasons.  While many of the songs on this record reference the sound of their older catalogue, this track sounds more like their later output, which at first was a little jarring but this song is definitely a grower, particularly when you look into the lyrics. This is first and foremost a song for his wife, it’s personal and familiar, and although the sound of the song is not nearly as intimate as the lyrics, it maintains the sharp song craft of the rest of the tracks here.  The guitar intro just launches you headfirst into that classic 00’s Weezer sound and continues to warp, twist, and change tone.  Brain Bell is really a great guitarist and his instrument soars over and plows through each of these tracks with energy and creativity, it sounds like he’s having a blast.
The wall of sound and guitar on “L.A. Girlz” is immense and lovely, contrasting well with the bright melodies of this ballad track and the result is, I think, a song that ranks as one of the best the band has ever put together. The sweet melodies work well with Cuomo’s bitter lyrics: “L.A. Girls please act your age”, a little unfair seeing as Weezer are hardly playing songs any traditional 40 year old men would.  Still the tune is undeniable and features another gorgeous bridge: “Does anybody love anybody as much as I love you, baby?”  Plus theres a Jaberwocky reference in the lyrics so what more do you need here? (seriously read the disney picture book based on the novel its brilliant).  The tail end tracks here end on a similar bummer note lyrically with Cuomo’s laments over being “Jacked Up” over a failed romance. The song features a great drumbeat and lovely impassioned falsetto.  It also features some of my favorite lines from the record: “Oh, why, why, why do my flowers always die?” and “We’ll sleep together minus one”.  The closer “Endless Bummer” may be the most explicitly Beach Boys song here with its acoustic harmonies and gentle melody (not to mention the title) but it doesn't get lost in the influence, this is still Weezer and this quaint guitar ballad builds organically to a nice finish before the sounds of the ocean appropriately bookend this record.
With only 10 songs on this album and  only one of them even approaching anything more than 4 minute length its very hard for this record to wear out its welcome, each song is sharp, instantaneous, and memorable.  Its not without its flaws, it can be cheesy, self referential, a tad formulaic at times.and for some those may be a legitimate problem but for me, when the formula is this well put together its hard to argue that this is the best Weezer record in years and stands as a worthy successor to their earlier work.  It really brings me back to being a kid again listening to Weezer effectively get the wind back in my sails (get it?).  Here’s hoping Black Album is even better.


8/10