Sad Moth Music: April 2016

Last night, amidst the cold howls of the wind, and the ominous distant murmurs of a storm I sat in the high rise of Sad Moth headquarters. An uneasy feeling came over me as I drank my last gulp of scotch (Glenmorangie Pride 1981), and cut my last Cuban of the night.

"Our ratings must've taken a dip again," I callously sensed as I reached for the intercom button to the basement's writing room. "Sad Moth Noah get up," I snarled, " our articles must still not be interesting OR dynamic enough!"

"B-but sir," Noah's tired voice replied, "it's almost midnight, I've been here since six A.M. I need to get home to see my family."

"Gah," I scoffed as I brought the security feed of the cold concrete walls of his occupancy onto my desktop monitor, "I poured your-uh I mean my blood sweat and tears into this company, and now you're making excuses!? Maybe you should take a week off, so I can think about docking your stipend once again."

"N-no sir," Noah looked into the camera, "I must have not been thinking straight, I apologize"

"That's more like it, get back to work, now if you'll excuse me I have a podcast to 'edit' " I cackled.

It was at this moment at my mahogany desk in my aged leather and ivory chair where I was disrupted by the chimes of the luxurious gilded grandfather clock in the corner of my office.

"Midnight already, man I've been working all day, I should take a rest." I yawned as I dropped the monocle from my eye, "big day of work tomorrow."

However, just as my eyelids drooped thunder and lightning cracked in the city (madcity) skyline startling me and knocking out the buildings power with one fowl swoop.

"Sad Moth Noah?" I frantically pressed the intercom again, "my office power supply is down, I need you to reset it, and remember you're not allowed to use the elevator."

"Right away sir," Noah sighed in defeat.

Then suddenly from the shadows a ghastly figure called to me, "OoOooOooo, it's been awhile Emanuel."

"Emanuel? I don't know who you're talking about," I called out.

"I'm not going to call you that."

"Then I'm not going to talk to you..." I replied crossing my arms and turning my head away.

"Seriously? Fine. OoOooOooo it's been awhile Sad Moth Manny"

"Gah," I gasped, "Sad Moth Noah!? Cut it out! How'd you get up here so quickly!?"

"I am not Noah, it is I," he appeared in the whip and crack of another bolt, "NIMBI!"

He stuck out his arms circled with the rattles of chains, his skin was pale as snow, and his eyes pulled into the dark bags that surrounded them. "I'm here to warn you..." he howled, "you must change your ways!"

"W-w-what are you talking about?" I shook as the now warmed scotch ran down my pant legs, "S-s-Sad Moth is the best it's ever been!"

"Yes, but you haven't written anything for it in months," his ghastly voice moaned.

"That's not true!" I cried, "I wrote a Life of Pablo review, it's just in my Google Docs! I swear!"

"I will give you until this Sunday! Or else I'll be back..."

"B-b-b-back for what?" I timidly replied.

"YOUR SOUL!" He pointed out his finger, shaking his chains once again. The minimal light from the window basking his gaze in the blight of a thousand other collected souls.

(Beat)

"Oh. Well that's not that big of a deal,"

"It is."

Noah, toolbox in hand entered the room, "What's going on? N-Nimbi is that you?"

Nimbi turned to Noah with a haunted glaze, "Yes Noah, it is I, Nimbi and I am here to free you from this tyrannous brute. No longer are the days of your suffering, no longer are the days of you being forced to go to Aaron Carter, or Josh Groban. You- "

*BANG*

"Happy listening mother fucker," golden gun in hand, I gritted my just finishing cigar between my teeth into a victorious smile, ash and ember spewing from the end. "Thanks for buying me time Sad Moth Noah, I was really in a pinch there."

"You fucking asshole, god dammit," Nimbi rolled on the floor.

I quickly raised my gun again, "OH SHIT! He's not dead!"

"Don't fucking shoot me again. I was never dead you assholes."

"What!?" Noah and I exclaimed in unison.

"Yeah, I never died," Nimbi ached, "you jerks just 'killed me off' for no reason at all. It really hurt my feelings. You know you guys used to be somebody," Nimbi picked himself up from the floor holding his wound, "you guys used to write album reviews, all of you, even Patrick. Now you're washed up."

I looked down at Nimbi, "well jeez dude, I'm sorry...man maybe it took shooting you again to realize the err of my ways."

I looked up around me at the mantels, and the luxury I posted myself in. "All of it! All of it must go! We're liquidating it all! Sad Moth is going to start anew! We're back from the dead!"

"...weren't we back from the dead in December?" Noah frowned.

"This time we're REALLY back from the dead, we're going back to our roots!"

Nimbi filled with life. Rays of sun bursting from his smile. With a twirl and a poof Nimbi's tattered zombie rags turned into a bright yellow tuxedo."Why by golly," he remarked, "that's a grand idea, now we can all go back to reviewing albums. Album reviews that are done in an interesting AND dynamic way."

*BANG*

Noah stood still, his arm stretched out, my pistol in his hand, "first thing's first, THAT is done." I stood in horror as Noah turned to me, "And you! No more me just making posts for shit, I'm done! It's either we're all together or none of us are!"

"Y-y-you just killed Nimbi!"

"Now you know I'm serious, you get your shit done by Sunday or you're dead. You hear me," Noah picked up a stogie from my desk and lit it, "dead!"

"Okay."

Another figure entered the room, "Wha? Deed I meese someting!?" It was Patrick!

"Oh Patrick!" Noah and I shrugged in unison, and the live studio audience roared with laughter.

RIP Nimbi 1995-2015 and 2016-2016

Expect a large Sad Moth content dump this Sunday! April fools? ;)

Thanks for holding tight, Happy list- uh see you around kiddos,

Emanuel Aviles

Pages

4/28/16

Sad Moth Reviews: Animal Collective -- Painting With

4/5/16

Sad Moth Reviews: Kanye West -- The Life Of Pablo

4/1/16

OMG NIMBI CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND HE DIED AGAIN, RIP NIMBI (AGAIN)